How do i trust her again?

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Hey all,

First of all, I am already on the Escapist as another username, I just wanted to stay anonymous with this problem so I hope that won’t be a problem.

I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost a year now. I love her with all my heart and I know she loves me as much too. In less than a year, we’re moving to Australia together and this is obviously a huge step in starting a new life together. Everything about her is perfect… She’s beautiful, she’s so kind and considerate of me and I care about her a crazy amount. I seriously would die for her.

Now it’s not all amazing though. Two months ago, I found out that she got drunk at a party and had unprotected sex with someone else. Obviously, I was crushed to find this out. This actually happened around six months earlier when we had broken up for a few weeks after an argument but none the less, it hit me really fucking hard.

We had many long conversations after I found out and these are the things that are apparent;

1. She loves me a hell of a lot and regrets doing it. She told me she only did it because the guy looked like me and she was upset because she we broke up a few days before.

2. She was really drunk and didn’t think much about what was happening.

3. This is the one that hurts the most…. Because he didn’t wear any protection, he finished inside her.

There was a period of two weeks or so where we were both worried she might be pregnant because of this. Thankfully, she had her period and things were alright. It still really bothered me that we thought the woman I loved was going to have some random guy’s baby.
Now, obviously I can’t tell you guys everything because there’s so much to tell and I doubt you guys would read all of this.
However, since this happend I have forgiven her but knowing it happens still plagues me often.

I have forgiven her, but it still sits there in the back of my mind and quite often, I think about it and it really brings me down. Things between us have been great since then and I’m really looking forward to starting a new life with her when we both move to Australia. But I just can’t get this out of my head… I need to find some way to get this out completely. I don’t want this fucking things up with her because she really is the woman I want to be with forever.

We’ve tried talking about it before but that doesn’t work because it reminds her of what happened and it brings all the pain back for her because obviously, she’s not proud of it and regrets that it happend… She just clams up and gets really depressed until we talk about something else.

It’s affecting how things are with us though. She knows it still bothers me and has said that I need to forgive and forget about it or leave because it’s damaging our relationship. I don’t want to leave her because of this, but I also can’t have this in my mind for the rest of my life.

The reason I’ve wrote all that (sorry by the way), is because I’m asking for your help… Guys and Gals of the Escapist, how can I get this out of my mind so it doesn’t ruin the best relationship of my life?

Thanks in advance for any advice you give me. I really appreciate it.

Have a good day my fellow Escapees.

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