Yes, I realize The Masked Singer is where nightmares are born and careers go to die, but it’s a habit I can’t quit, and truthfully, I’m not sorry about it. Between Nick Cannon’s absence in the first half of the season and the FOX execs deciding that Muppets are now celebs, season 5 has somehow been weirder than usual, and because too much is never enough for Masked Singer, it also introduced a wild card round. Where did they even find all these “celebrity” participants? Blink if you need help, guys!!!
In other words, a third group of people who should fire their agents are getting randomly added to the mix, crashing in to both Group A (Seashell, Robopine, and Russian Dolls remain) and Group B (Piglet, Black Swan, and Chameleon are the only ones left). And if the new guy has better pipes, then one of the OG contestants has to bid adieu to their dreams of being a Masked Singer champion. Womp, womp. The first wild card contestant to make its debut was the Orca, and now we’ve got another under-the-sea creature to unmask: the Crab. Fans already have theories about who’s lurking inside this mustachioed crustacean costume, and while some of the guesses are just lol, others are actually kind of legit.
Please take a hot sec to review the official clue video from episode 4:
Here’s what I find particularly ~intriguing~ from that cryptic vid:
- The Crab says he“always wanted to be a star” and his dream came true“in a flash.”
- He said at one point he felt like a“king crab” before apparently“tragedy” struck.
- It sounds like the Crab has been through some rough times (he said it’s been a“struggle to deal with the darkness” while a broken hand mirror floats by the screen).
- He talks about the“twists and turns” his family has been through while his crab claws are bound and then we see a calculator that reads“2 + 3” (???).
- Oh, and there’s also a copy of the Mona Lisa chilling in an underwater bush, so do with that what you will.
And here are the judges’ guesses so far:
Ken Jeong went with New Edition alum (and self-proclaimed King of R&B) Bobby Brown, who tragically lost his son Bobby Jr. in November 2020. Based on the fish in the clue package video, Robin Thicke guessed another New Edition alum, Johnny Gill, who released an album called Game Changer in 2014, which was possibly name–dropped in the clue package. He also initially guessed Jay-Z after hearing the“king crab” clue (um, no way, my man), while Nicole Scherzinger guessed Kanye West (and again, nope). HBU, Jenny McCarthy? Anything?
Okay, and now for the clue video from episode 5:
- The Crab admits that his first performance was tough both physically AND emotionally
- Apparently, performing on Masked Singer reminds the Crab of…his childhood?!
- His mom tried to keep ol’—er, young—Crab under control, but it sounds like he didn’t respond positively to it at first. But then he began to understand the value of family, awww.
- Some notable symbols: A dish full of mac’n’ cheese, and Big Ben (yeah, the clock in London), of course
- He loves cooking. The end.
For his first performance, the Crab went with“Ain’t No Sunshine,” by Bill Withers. Cue literally all the feels.
“Give It to Me Baby” by Rick James was up next for the Crab’s second performance during episode 5:
Shout-out to Dr. Ken, because a whole lot of fans agree with his theory. (Srsly, check out the YouTube vids. Every comment says Bobby Brown.) On top of losing his son six months ago, Bobby also lost his daughter Bobbi Kristina in 2015 and his superstar ex-wife Whitney Houston in 2012, so he’s certainly dealt with his fair share of tragedy. And let’s not forget Bobby’s 2012 album Masterpiece, which could possibly explain the Mona Lisa inclusion, and his 1986 album King of Stage, which could explain the“king crab” clue. Plus, the voice sounds just like him, sooo…Just! Saying! Aaand the Crab said he had a childhood crush on Janet Jackson, who Bobby used to date. What more evidence do you need???
While pretty much everyone is in agreement that the man behind the aquatic arthropod is Bobby Brown, one brave fan on Instagram suggested the vocalist could be Hootie & the Blowfish lead singer Darius Rucker. (’90s kids, where you at?) The band has a 1994 album called Cracked Rear View, which could maaaybe explain that cracked hand mirror, and Darius also“consciously uncoupled” from his wife in 2020, which could account for those familial“twists and turns.”
Another theory floated by fans on YouTube and Instagram is 30 Rock star Tracy Morgan, who was severely injured after he was struck by a Walmart truck back in 2014. Like Darius, he also recently ended a long-term relationship, having filed for divorce from his second wife in 2020. While Tracy has experienced plenty of tragedy, there’s one problem with this guess: Unless he’s been hiding his talent for years, Tracy can’t sing, and the Crab definitely can. Sry, friends.
So we’re all in agreement the Crab is Bobby Brown, right? K, cool.