By Princess Joy Aideyan
Financial abuse is a serious and often overlooked form of domestic abuse, where one partner exerts control over the other through financial means. While physical or emotional abuse might be more obvious, financial abuse can be just as damaging and can leave long-lasting effects on the victim’s independence, self-worth, and stability. If you are in a relationship, it’s important to be aware of the warning signs of financial abuse to protect yourself and your financial wellbeing. Here are some key indicators to watch out for:
1. Controlling Access to Money
One of the clearest signs of financial abuse is when one partner controls or restricts the other’s access to money. This might include withholding cash, controlling bank accounts, or limiting the victim’s ability to spend money freely. For example, the abuser may demand to be the only one to handle all financial matters, making the victim feel helpless when it comes to basic financial decisions or needs.
2. Forcing Financial Dependence
In some cases, the abuser might manipulate the victim into becoming financially dependent on them. This could involve discouraging the victim from working, sabotaging their employment, or insisting that they quit their job or education to stay home. The intention is to make the victim reliant on the abuser for all financial needs, which can increase feelings of powerlessness and fear.
3. Creating Debt or Financial Obligation
Financial abusers may take out loans or credit cards in the victim’s name without their consent or forge their signature for financial gain. This can lead to the victim being burdened with debt, making it harder for them to escape the relationship. The abuser may also guilt the victim into taking on financial responsibility for things that aren’t their fault, like unpaid bills or loans.
4. Using Money as Manipulation or Punishment
An abuser might use money as a tool to manipulate or control the victim’s behavior. They may threaten to withhold money if the victim doesn’t comply with their demands or use financial rewards to get what they want. On the other hand, they may use money as a form of punishment, such as reducing the victim’s spending allowance or taking away their financial independence as a means of exerting control.
5. Limiting or Monitoring Spending
If your partner constantly questions how you spend money, monitors your purchases, or sets strict limits on what you can buy, this is a clear sign of financial abuse. The abuser may also accuse the victim of overspending or being irresponsible, even when it is not true. This control over everyday spending creates an unhealthy dynamic and undermines the victim’s ability to make independent financial decisions.
6. Avoiding Joint Financial Decisions
An abuser may actively avoid any discussion or decision-making about joint finances, leaving the victim in the dark about important matters such as savings, investments, or debts. This may involve making major financial decisions without the victim’s consent or keeping them uninformed about how money is being managed in the relationship.
7. Emotional Manipulation Linked to Money
Abusers may link their financial control to emotional manipulation. For example, they may say things like, “If you loved me, you wouldn’t need to work,” or “You can’t buy that because we don’t have enough money.” This type of manipulation makes the victim feel guilty for wanting to take care of their own needs or have financial autonomy.
8. Isolation Through Financial Dependence
Financial abusers often work to isolate their victims by restricting their ability to socialize, travel, or engage in activities that cost money. This can be done subtly by controlling how much the victim can spend on social events or pressuring them to avoid any activities that require spending money. Over time, this isolation deepens and increases the victim’s dependence on the abuser.
9. Dismissing or Belittling the Victim’s Financial Contributions
A financially abusive partner may belittle or dismiss the victim’s financial contributions to the household. They may minimize the value of the victim’s work or income, or claim that it is not enough to matter. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and guilt, even though the victim is contributing in meaningful ways.
Protecting Yourself
If you recognize any of these warning signs in your relationship, it’s important to take steps to protect your financial independence. Begin by seeking help from trusted friends, family, or professionals who can guide you through your options. Additionally, documenting all financial transactions and creating a plan for financial independence can help you regain control of your financial future. Remember, financial abuse is a form of control and manipulation, and you have the right to live free from it.
If you are experiencing financial abuse, consider reaching out to organizations and hotlines that specialize in helping victims of domestic violence. No one should ever feel trapped or helpless because of financial abuse.
