Signs of loneliness in a relationship, and how to cope


You might think being in a relationship means being anything but lonely, but that’s actually not entirely true. You don’t have to be socially isolated to feel lonely. In fact, it’s normal to sometimes feel lonely in a relationship, whether you’re long distance, live together, or find yourself anywhere in between. A disconnect can happen even if you consider your relationship to be relatively healthy. But it can also be a sign something is wrong or even toxic.

So, what are the signs of loneliness in a relationship, and how can you cope? Click on to find out.

You don’t long for each other anymoreYou don't long for each other anymore

Even if your significant other has been away for a few hours, you don’t feel that intense excitement and desire to kiss each other. This can make you feel lonely.

You don’t see each other oftenYou don’t see each other often

Whether you’re married or living together, you might still feel alone in your home. You might get home very late, while the other leaves early, meaning you don’t see each other that often.

You no longer have deep conversationsYou no longer have deep conversations

One of the signs of loneliness in a relationship is when you can’t even talk to your partner, especially about deep topics.

Both of you would rather commit to other plansBoth of you would rather commit to other plans

When you don’t make an effort to bond like before, you might notice that you’d rather commit to other plans, like going out with friends rather than staying home.

You feel the coldness in your relationshipYou feel the coldness in your relationship

Have you ever felt that you try to be closer to your partner, but they don’t reciprocate? This can provoke feelings of loneliness

Both of you are more focused on your screenBoth of you are more focused on your screen

There’s no time for bonding, communication, and intimacy. Instead, you’re both focused on your screens.

You don’t feel that your partner wants youExactly Where To Kiss A Girl To Turn Her On | Susan Bratton | YourTango

You start feeling that your partner doesn’t want you, but only needs you. There’s a huge difference between feeling loved and being in a relationship because of convenience.

You don’t make love anymoreYou don’t make love anymore

One of the signs of loneliness in a relationship is when you do have sex, you don’t make love. It’s an empty feeling, where intimacy and connection are no longer there.

You don’t ask about each otherYou don't ask about each other

You try to ask your partner about their day, but you only get a one-word answer, or maybe no answer at all.

You may develop self-isolation tendenciesYou may develop self-isolation tendencies

Another sign of loneliness in a relationship is when you start choosing isolation. You start losing interest in your daily activities, and distance yourself from your family and friends.

Your needs and wants are no longer metYour needs and wants are no longer met

When there’s loneliness in a relationship, one or both may no longer meet each other’s wants and needs. This includes intimacy, love, and so much more.

You start having different interests You start having different interests

After a few years, you may find yourself and your partner starting to drift apart and spending time on your new interests.

There’s infidelity and betrayalThere’s infidelity and betrayal

When you’re dealing with betrayal and infidelity, who wouldn’t feel lonely?

You notice changes in your eating pattern and health You notice changes in your eating pattern and health

Some people binge-eat, while others lose their appetites. Both of these can cause health problems, which can also affect daily activities.

You notice changes in your hygieneYou notice changes in your hygiene

Being alone in a relationship can take its toll. Some people stop caring about their hygiene, and even stop looking at themselves in the mirror.

Ways to cope with loneliness in a relationship Ways to cope with loneliness in a relationship

There are situations where it’s not advisable to fix things. For example, when you’re subjected to abuse. But if that’s not the case, and there’s a desire on both ends to combat these feelings, then there are ways to work through them.

Discuss your feelingsDiscuss your feelings

Share your feelings, but tell them you’re not blaming or criticizing them in any way. Tell them that you’re feeling lonely. Maybe you both need to make changes.

Don’t stop dating your partnerPremium Photo | Man arguing with his wife

It may be hard at first, but it’s not impossible. The key is to make time for each other, and, of course, enjoy your time together.

Practice self-carePractice self-care

Self-care is essential, especially when you’re feeling down and lonely. Start by exercising, meditating, eating healthy home-cooked meals, and doing something that’ll make you happy.

Spend less time on your phoneSpend less time on your phone

Instead of texting your partner, call them. Or better yet, meet up with them up, even if it’s for a quick coffee. The aim is to focus on connection.

Discuss your futureDiscuss your future

One cause of loneliness in a relationship is when you feel uncertain about your future. Open up and talk about your future together.

Hug your partnerHug your partner

When you hug your partner, oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone,” is released. You’ll feel a sense of closeness, while gaining deeper feelings of connection, bonding, and trust.

Do chores togetherDo chores together

If your partner is doing chores, why not join them so you can share time together? It can be a nice way to strike up conversation.

Keep your promisesKeep your promises

Relationships are all about commitment. When you’re facing challenges, this is the time when you need to try harder.

Reminisce about your pastReminisce about your past

Sometimes we forget how deeply in love we are. By reminiscing about your past, it can help you realize that the both of you have drifted apart, thus bringing you back together.

Go on family day tripsGo on family day trips

Another way to overcome loneliness in a relationship is to try and go out. Opt for a fun, little family day trip, which is easy to plan.

Talk about your day
Talk about your day

Initiate a conversation with your partner. Ask about their day, and when it’s your turn, share details about how your day went. Make sure to actually engage and listen to each other.

Nurture other relationshipsNurture other relationships

Don’t forget to nurture your other important relationships. You’ll be reminded that you love others and that you yourself are loved

Try couple’s therapyTry couple's therapy

By speaking to a therapist, you can learn skills to bring you and your partner closer together. Also, a professional can help you not feel so isolated in your relationship

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