As the saying goes, sometimes it’s better to be alone than in bad company. Did you end a relationship that was heading nowhere? Have you been dumped? Decided to part ways? Being single again doesn’t have to be a huge deal. Here are 20 ways to help you get over a breakup.
Post-breakup – Cut ties
It’s crucial to cut ties for awhile and make a clean break. Don’t spy on your ex, resist the temptation to call them for any little thing. Otherwise you’ll stay hooked and won’t be able to move on. There are advantages to being single: you need this step to help you rediscover them.
Post-breakup – Turn to your friends![Post-breakup – Turn to your friends]()
Who better than your friends to lift you up after a breakup? They know how to make you laugh, don’t complain when you sound like a broken record and, most importantly, they’ve got everything you need to help you forget about your ex.
Post-breakup – Write a letter
Whatever the reason for your breakup, you may have left some things unsaid. Maybe you wanted to explain yourself, or make your ex understand your pain. Whatever the situation, it’s not too late to express yourself. Write a special letter: one that you’ll never send. Pour out your feelings, your anger, your regrets. Say everything you’ve always wanted to say but didn’t. This is an intense exercise, but worth it: you can even burn the letter to be sure that no one ever sees it.
Post-breakup – Find someone who’s willing to listen![Post-breakup – Find someone who’s willing to listen]()
When you have a broken heart, you need to talk it out. But you can’t open your heart to just anybody; some people just aren’t good listeners. They only want to give advice (the “plenty of fish in the ocean!” type), or try to change the subject right away. Some people are uncomfortable when others bare their souls. Choose someone you trust and talk as often as you need to during your post-breakup phase.
Post-breakup – Watch movies
Movies can help you forget about your life and your troubles. There’s a reason that we love to lose ourselves in a thrilling TV series, something that takes us away from the everyday, and from our constant urge to cry. Sometimes a good tear-jerker or two can be cathartic and help us move on. Other times, we need comedy to remind us how to laugh. Go with the flow and watch whatever you need to in the moment.
Post-breakup – Stay realistic![Post-breakup – Stay realistic]()
“Did I make the right decision?” Sometimes, you have your doubts. You see couples all around you and they make you wistful; you remember happy times, and think you made the wrong choice in leaving. Stop! You have to be realistic after a breakup, not nostalgic. We all tend to romanticize the good times and forget the reasons that the relationship didn’t work. This is not the time to second-guess yourself.
Post-breakup – See a therapist
What if your breakup leads you to do a little work on yourself? Maybe there are some lessons to be learned from your relationship or the way it ended. Talking to a therapist or psychologist can only improve the odds of a better relationship next time around.
Post-breakup – Take it easy![Post-breakup – Take it easy]()
Sometimes we compensate for a ‘failure’ by going a mile a minute. We don’t want to stop and face the loneliness. We push down our feelings because we are afraid that if we face them, we’ll be inconsolable for hours. Beware! This will only delay your recovery! Give yourself a weekend to completely let go. Give yourself permission to feel your big emotions, eat whatever you want, indulge… then it will be easier to turn the page.
Post-breakup – Give yourself time
A breakup is a loss to be mourned. To get through it, you have to work through a few steps and just as many emotions. Every person grieves at their own pace and intensity. Give yourself time. You may not get back on track right away. Accepting that your heart is grieving, and not just angry, is part of the process. Time is your best ally.
Post-breakup – Listen to sad songs![Post-breakup – Listen to sad songs]()
Music can help in the same way as movies: sometimes all you need is an achy-breaky playlist; listen to the saddest songs, have a good cry and desensitize yourself a little. Sing (or yell, if you can’t sing!) sad songs over and over, in your car, shower, living room…your heart will feel ten times lighter. See! Isn’t that better?
Post-breakup – Avoid social media
Limiting social media is a good way to help your broken heart heal faster. You won’t be tempted to follow your ex’s every move, and you won’t see them pop up on your feed through shared online friends. Breaking up with Facebook, Instagram, etc. for awhile is a smart idea.
Post-breakup – Forget about revenge![Post-breakup – Forget about revenge]()
Revenge may seem like the perfect way to inflict as much pain on your ex as they did on you, but it’s never a good idea. Revenge pushes you into self-destructive patterns that are never healthy. You don’t want to go there!
Post-breakup – Redecorate
The urge to redecorate after a breakup is completely normal. You want something new, you want colour and change! It’s a great time to channel your inner designer and make some decisions alone. You won’t have to compromise with anyone, so take full advantage!
Post-breakup – Take a vacation![Post-breakup – Take a vacation]()
Bon voyage! Pack up your suitcase in a flash and take off on a road trip with no destination in mind, or snap up a last-minute deal at an all-inclusive. A change of scenery is a great way to mend a broken heart.
Post-breakup – Clean house
It’s time to clean house and declutter! You’ve been sleeping with that favourite sweater your ex left behind, but now is the time to move on from all that melancholy. Get rid of sentimental items that are a constant reminder of your last relationship. If you can’t bring yourself to throw them out, store them somewhere out of sight.
Post-breakup – Get out of the house![Post-breakup – Get out of the house]()
Saying yes to every invitation you get is a great way to get through the first few “post-breakup” weeks. Don’t even think of saying no! Get out of the house, try a new activity, go to a restaurant, a museum, etc. Getting out does a world of good!
Post-breakup – Try something new
Always dreamed of taking surf lessons? Been wanting to learn more about wine? Now’s the time to go for it! You don’t have to compromise anymore, so take advantage! Take up a challenge that pushes your personal limits, and let yourself feel truly alive. You’re starting a whole new life!
Post-breakup – Rediscover your passions![20 ways to get over a breakup]()
Couples often compromise, and sometimes that means letting go of things we love to do. Now’s time to rediscover what makes you happy. Why not dedicate a space in your home to a renewed passion?
Post-breakup – Enjoy your single status
Don’t stick your head in the sand: there are advantages to being single. You answer to nobody. You can flirt as much as you want. You can take off on a whim. Why not embrace it instead of complaining about it?
Post-breakup – Make a life change![Post-breakup – Make a life change]()
A breakup is just that, a break. If you have to live through a change, you might as well make it a huge one. Transform your life. Move to the country; go travelling for a year; get a new job. Do you have a dream you set aside years ago? Brush off those cobwebs and make it happen.
